Growing up, I have seen and read about the abrupt end of a lot relationships. A lot of these relationships came crushing down because of a lack of readiness from one or both parties involved. Today, a young man or woman, thinking he or she knows “Wosop” steps into town and the first thing that comes to mind is “I’ve got to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend”. Young ones of our times are rushing into relationships just for the beauty and fun of it. Whereas some wants to settle curiosities, others too are kowtowing to pressure from friends and even family leading to avoidable mistakes which hitherto could have been prevented in the relationship.
Of course there is love at first sight and love by accident but the question is how many? Listen, readiness comes with preparation. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Don’t start what you cannot finish. You don’t start a relationship with a “try and error” attitude. Let me assure you that if that is your mindset, then you will keep trying and there will always be an error somewhere. The way and manner sports men and women train and prepare for their various competitions in their various fields, so should you also sit, plan, prepare and set yourself in readiness for your love life.
Then comes the question, how do I prepare and when do I know I’m ready? The answer is simple. It starts with yourself. One key thing that we tend to neglect before we make any move or venture into any relationship is Self-Examination. Knowing one’s self is very crucial in having a successful love life.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I know myself/Who am I? 2. How well do I know myself? 3. Do I love who I am? 4. Do I have a problem with friendship? 5. Can I handle all that comes along with being in a relationship?
Your ability to honestly answer just the above questions and many others helps you to come to terms with and accept the reality about yourself and it gives you an idea about the quantum of work that you have to do on yourself before you can put yourself in a position to begin a relationship. However, understand that whatever candid conclusion that you come to after this self-assessment is your Unique Self. You DON’T have to CHANGE to please anybody, what you do is modification, compromise and/or adjustments to help you fit into your would be partner.
Don’t make the mistakes of going into a relationship as a novice. Buy, and read books about relationships, listen to audios and watch videos of seasoned relationship counselors. Go for relationship seminars and shows. Make genuine and deliberate efforts to seek for relevant knowledge about relationships. As you dream and search for a better half, you too make yourself that better half that somebody is searching for. In your current state, do you love who you are? Love me as I am is a myth believed by most unserious people, do not fall for that. Even the Bible said, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. If you cannot love yourself do not expect anybody to love you back.
I leave you with a Song of Solomon 8:4, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases”. If you’re not ready for Love please do not venture because had I known is not just always at last but it is sometimes a philosophy of a fool.
By: Qwesi Nabila Zakariah.
Follow me on all social media platforms @QwesiNabilaZakariah.